[Adam Hart] Too bad I’m already a beacon of physical fitness, otherwise this very subtle advertisement might sucker me into purchasing whatever phony 4-week program its hawking.

[Adam Hart] Wow, Tiger Woods‘ career is flourishing. That is, if he’s changed his profession to tabloid megastar.

Now we’ve got USMagazine.com reporting that Tiger didn’t use condoms with at least some of his alleged mistresses. Not safe. Not safe for anybody involved.  Not to mention the possibility that these broads lied about being on birth control.  Unless, of course, he’s relying on the fail-proof method of pulling out…

I’ve never cheated on a girlfriend, but I’d have to imagine he did EVERYTHING wrong here.  Like, he could totally be forking over millions to some secret mistress baby momma right now.  And all because he didn’t pack a rubber.  Allegedly.

[Adam Hart] What’s a defenseman to do after his team allows a breakaway goal? Smash his goaltender in the mask with his stick, that’s what.

[Adam Hart] I don’t care how drunk you are — if you fall on the tracks with a train approaching, you get that adrenalin pumping, wake your ass up and hop back up on the platform. This is just a terrible performance.

Luckily, those bystanders flagged down the T driver and got her to stop. It’s amazing what a driver without a text messaging machine can accomplish.

[Adam Hart] Who had Glen Davis in the “Which Celtic Will Be The First One Out With An Injury” pool? Claim your prize. …It’s nothing. Nothing is your prize.

Via CSNNE.com:

Celtics forward Glen “Big Baby” Davis will be out 6-8 weeks with a broken hand. As reported the Herald’s Steve Bulpett, Davis suffered the injury in an altercation with a former teammate visiting from Louisiana.

His absence hurts the second team, as Leon Powe is no longer with the organization. Big guy Michael Sweetney was released at the end of training camp, so maybe he is an option to return on a few 15-day contracts.

More importantly, I hope Baby broke that guy’s face. Because if he ended up with a broken hand AND lost, that’s pretty weak.

[Adam Hart] Yes, that’s Nancy Grace who doesn’t appreciate losing an argument.

Nancy Grace: I can see that. You’ve got on two diamond earrings — you’re obviously not broke.
Jon Gosselin: Actually, they’re CZs, but [inaudible]
Nancy Grace: (death stare) Don’t care.

You cared three seconds ago when you tried to make your point about him wearing diamond earrings. Is Kate Gosselin this lady’s heroine or something? Seriously, why does she care if these kids are on TV anymore? For what it’s worth, Jon said before this whole mess that he wanted to end the reality show to save his family, and Kate was hearing none of it.

Best line of this argument may be Grace grilling him on family values, then realizing she shouldn’t be one to talk — for whatever reason — and trying to slip this one by us.

“Hey, I’m not all about family values, but…”

…I’m still going to judge you.